This week over here in my gingerdom, I thought I would punish myself by insisting that my oldest take a much-needed break from video games. Her response to this has been;
We are currently on day 4 of her detox. She is still convinced that we hate her and that we are punishing her for something. I am currently tired of being asked every five minutes, “Can I play Nintendo, now?” “How about now?” “Now?” There are moments that I want to throw in the towel and just let her play so we can talk about anything other than when she gets to play.
I have been asking myself, “The Whys?” Why do I feel like she needs a break? Why am I insisting on making her take one? My daughter is high functioning autistic. She is brillant, but she struggles with things like reading people’s emotions, understanding social norms, and how what she does can affect other people. Video games for her have become this place where she can go and not have to think about interactions with other people. It is easier for her to play games, then it for her to have face-to-face interactions. A new study published by the Society for Research in Child Development is showing the same thing that I see in my oldest;
“It might be that poor social competence drives youth’s tendency to play video games for extensive periods of time,” explained study co-author Lars Wichstrøm. “That is, youth who struggle socially might be more inclined to play games to fulfill their need to belong and their desire for mastery because gaming is easily accessible and may be less complicated for them than face-to-face interactions.”
After researchers accounted for factors that can independently influence social skills – like being overweight or obese, or coming from a low-income household where parents have less education – they didn’t find any connection between time spent gaming and social skills for boys. However, for both boys and girls, poor social competence at ages 8 and 10 predicted more time spent gaming two years later. And for GIRLS ONLY, the reverse was also true: girls who spent more time gaming at age 10 showed poorer social skills two years later than girls who devoted less time to video games. This applies to me, I am the mother of, TWO GIRLS!!!
The gender gap might have something to do with differences in how girls and boys game, and how they socialize, the study suggests. Boys spent more time gaming overall, and they also tended to gather in groups to play. Girls, by contrast, were more apt to game alone.
“Girls who game may not only have fewer girls to game with, but also to a greater extent be excluded from nongaming social interaction with same-aged girls, and the training in social skills that follows,”
After reading this study I have reached “The What?” and “The How?”, “What do I do with this knowledge?” and “How do I use it to help my child?” I could buy every girl in her class a Nintendo and really encourage them to play in an after school club, but that sounds very expensive and time-consuming. So realistically, we are doing a detox. As a family, we are taking a break from video games so that we can have more face-to-face interactions. I am sure, at some point, she will be allowed to play video games again. When that time comes, I want to implement some healthier strategies that I have learned from this whole experience;
- Set consistent screen time limits
- Not to give in to her repeated request for more time.
- Screens will not take the place of face-to-face interactions
- Daily journaling
Some of these strategies make apperent sense; the one that might stick out as weird is journaling. The one thing I think I have learned from this whole experience is that she struggles with her feeling and understand other people’s feelings. I think journaling could be a healthy start to figuring out some of those big emotions.
The Ginger Girl 