Feeling lonely? You are not alone…..

Yesterday, I had the privilege to see the musical, Dear Even Hansen. I love musicals and theater so it shouldn’t surprise, when I say, “I loved it!” The song, “Waving Through the Window” had a verse that I have been thinking about since yesterday.

“On the outside always lookin’ in
Will I ever be more than I’ve always been? ‘Cause I’m tap-tap-tappin’ on the glass Waving through a window…”

Then, this morning I was driving my girls to school, and this song came on the radio, “Modern Loneliness” by Lauv.

“I’ve been thinkin’ ’bout my father lately
The person that he made me
The person I’ve become
And I’ve been trying to fill all of this empty
But, fuck, I’m still so empty
Yeah, I could use some love”

Now, with these two songs stuck in my head, I started thinking about what they both had in common. LONELINESS! With so many references in mainstream media I started wondering, “Does everyone feel alone?”. Our society is more connected then we have ever been through, phones, texts, social media, and email, and yet loneliness is one of the top fears facing young millennials today. According to the 2016 VICELAND, UK Census loneliness is the number one fear of young people today—ranking ahead of losing a home or a job. Fully 42% of Millennial women are more afraid of loneliness than a cancer diagnosis, by far the highest share of any generation. Let that sink in; young people would rather lose their job, home, or even have cancer before feeling alone! This is alarming to me!

It has been scientifically proven that loneliness is emotionally painful and can lead to psychiatric disorders like depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, and even hallucinations. Recently, studies have been done to discussing the effects of loneliness on our physical health. Researchers at UCLA discovered that social isolation triggers cellular changes that result in chronic inflammation, predisposing the lonely to severe physical conditions like heart disease, stroke, metastatic cancer, and Alzheimer’s disease. One 2015 analysis, which pooled data from 70 studies following 3.4 million people over seven years, found that lonely individuals had a 26% higher risk of dying. This figure rose to 32% if they lived alone. This is also alarming to me!

How do we, as a society heal these feelings of loneliness? How do we help the lonely or ourselves when we are feeling lonely? These are big questions, I googled it, “How do you combat loneliness” and a slew of articles and self-help tips popped up, and I was overwhelmed. So I thought I would share the three things that help me,

1. Walking my dog. I get out, I get exercise, and I meet people in my neighborhood. Violet is a pretty popular pup.
2. Be present. Wherever I am, I try to be all there. I put away the phone and just enjoy what is happening around me. There is magic in this, I promise.
3. Say, Yes. I spent a year once saying yes to almost anything anyone invited me too. It was such a fun year; I did yoga with goats, I went and hiked Vortexs in Sedona. I danced with a Backstreet Boy, well kinda… It was a fun year! I got out and met different kinds of people and made friends.

Also, if you are feeling lonely, and it is at a point that you think it doesn’t matter if you are here or not. Let me tell you, YOU MATTER! Please don’t stay lost in that thought, reach out to me or someone you love and trust. Don’t make permanet decisions based on temporary feelings.